Meine Zeit ist fast vorbei

In ten days I will be hitting the 2 month mark. and two weeks will be spent enjoying a spring break. The feeling I have just writing about going home is not great at all. I am lucky that my camera is working again, so I will be sure to put it to good use. I am really regretting some things. I remember at the beginning of this exchange year, a former exchange student told all of us that we need to be active and not just sit around all of the time. I told myself that I definitely wouldn't do that and that I would be as active as I could. Well, I wasn't. For the first half of my exchange year I spent most of my time in my room. Sitting on the computer or watching tv or just sleeping. I really regret it now. Luckily, after Christmas break I got more involved and now hang out with friends a lot more often. But I really wish I would've started that sooner. So much time was wasted and now I don't have much time left.

Every time I think about going back, I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I miss my family and friends, of course, but I really cannot imagine my life without this family, these friends, and Germany. I want to be home, but I don't want this to be just a memory. I don't want to say: "When I was in Germany...." I want to stay. In all honesty, I want to stay. The biggest thing for me is the language. It is a very difficult language and I still get frustrated a lot with my lack of fluency. But I still love this country. I don't know.... I just.... I'm ready to go back home where I know I will understand everything and everyone will understand me and to see my friends and family. But I'm not done learning this language, these people, this culture. I just hope that, after these next couple of months, I will be able to come back.

Anyway, on to a more cheerful topic: my plans for spring break. I am really not sure what I will do the first week. I am thinking about visiting both of my other host families and just hanging out with friends and what not. For Easter, I think we are going to grill and just spend time with the family. The week following Easter Monday I am going to visit my brother, Immo, in Hannover. I am super super super excited!! I haven't seen him in a long time and cannot wait to hang out with him. Other than that I am going to Hamburg this Saturday with some friends. Next week I will be getting grades from my classes. And next Thursday I have a presentation over Bach in Music. We'll see how that goes.